Reflection on comments made to “My Descriptive Writing Sample #1” 1/13/06

Reflection on comments made to “My Descriptive Writing Sample #1” 1/13/06

Wow! I’ve just finished reading all of the great comments on my descriptive writing sample. I thank all of you. One thing I noticed was that some of you liked how it was a bit ambiguous and made you think about the thing being described. Others, however, were turned off by that aspect.

I would like to take a moment to reflect on HOW to write a comment and some of the comments that I found particularly helpful. Pay Attention, because these are the types of things that I will be looking for when I grade comments in the future!

FORMATING YOUR POSTS:

This commenting assignment was a bit different because I had questions designed to make you look at specific things. I really liked how Lishane and Susie included the questions in their post, like this example from Susie:

Q: Find at least two strong adjectives that the author used and explain why they were effective. For example, what sense does it appeal to, what mood or image does it convey?

A: In the sentence, “With head hanging like a dead snake…” the adjective, dead, makes the mood seem sad or just there.
In the sentence, “My finger lazily crawls to the plastic pad -- resigned to the fate of all procrastinators…” the adjective, lazily, makes the mood seem as if there is absolutely no want to do this activity.

By doing it this way, it makes it very easy for me to grade and there will be no doubt that you covered all your bases for full credit. Another way of doing this, like I saw Cameron and Olivia do on another thread, is to put the question in bold and type the answer in regular font.

GIVING SPECIFIC RECOMMENDATIONS:

Perhaps the most important aspect of writing comments is giving recommendations. I know that on this assignment I did not ask for them, but Kit and Mike C. did a good job of giving specific feedback. Kit mentioned that the title might not have been the most appropriate and Mike C. said that the whole things might have been too vague. What’s the point if the reader does not get it? If I were to write another draft I would have to reconsider the title, and even some of the adjectives and nouns in taking Mike’s critique to heart, although I must admit that I like forcing the reader to use their imagination. And as a reader, I appreicate an author who does the same to me.

USING ANALYSIS AND SPECIFIC DETAILS

Many of you were very specific in your analysis and this is exactly what you are supposed to do! Too many to mention stand out as being really effective, but here are a couple.

Yesenia quoted specific sentences (always effective in commenting ) and then gave specific reasons for why she thought the word choice helped the writing. Here is an example from Yesenia:

“With head hanging like a dead snake”
This was used to explain the way he was walking towards the chair which was in front of the computer that he dreaded. This helped the blog because it gave it more a descriptive picture of how he was walking. So that it didn’t just sound boring for example it could’ve said “he walked to the chair” which doesn’t create a interesting picture.

Michael did a great job of being specific when he said why he liked a sentence (not just that he liked it), as in this example:

What I really liked about the end of your writing is how you added why you had to use the computer. It sends a message that says you are trapped with what you fear the most.

Anjelica did the same when she wrote:

Another strong adjective that was used was “A shot of cold air struck my face” because it feels like I have just felt the cold breeze just as the writer described.

VOCABULARY:

Kate mentioned that she did not understand some of the words, but that she was able to figure them out by the context (the words coming before and after) or by looking them up in the dictionary. Props to Kate! That is exactly what you are supposed to do. If you don’t get it, look it up or ask someone who does.